Polite society during my parents’ lifetime deemed that nice people did not discuss politics or religion when guests were present.
“How stuffy!” we thought, when we were coming of age in the 1960s. “Religion and politics are just about two of the most interesting topics there are! And if it makes people clash around the dinner-table – so much the sparkier!”
But now, it seems, etiquette has dictated a return to those protocols of bygone years: Tatler, the society magazine, has decreed that conversation about religion should be banned at dinner parties.
Some forms of behaviour are acceptable and amusing, such as getting “rip-roaringly drunk” or “snogging” another guest, rules Tatler. Being hugely inebriated “enlivens” the mood, and public displays of intimacy can be “cheering”.
But no religion, and no talk of religion. “Religious fervour”, in particular, is out of the question in fashionable circles. Don’t mention the Alpha course you’ve just been on. God should only be discussed in private. Religion will “bore” people.
We can’t be sure whether Tatler is being somewhat facetious with this advice.
Because surely the greatest bores of all are drunks. I know, because I’ve been a boring drunk myself, and I recognise all the dreary symptoms of the condition: the tiresome repetitions, the glazed eyes that don’t comprehend what you’re saying, the lachrymose emotionalism or the sudden, illogical verbal aggressions – I’ve been there, and I’ve seen it all.
A meaningful theological discussion about, say, the nuances of the Filioque clause, is a conversational soufflé in contrast to the tedium of having to try to engage with an inebriate. In this, surely, Tatler’s counsel is ill-judged.
And yet, perhaps, it can be wise to eschew dinner party conversation about religion, not only because it is impolite to impose our opinions on others, who may not have sought them, but because the best way to represent faith values is to live by them, rather than talk about them.
It is a truism, but nonetheless probably true, that being a good person – being kind, humane and morally decent – is a stronger argument for faith than any amount of God-themed table talk.
If your neighbour at table is evidently interested in faith, it can’t, surely, be impolite to speak about it. Then, the topic can make for a most stimulating conversation.
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Leo Varadkar, who is likely to be confirmed as the next Taoiseach (Prime Minister) of Ireland on June 13, has attracted much attention from the international media. Leo, 38, is the son of an Indian immigrant to Ireland; his mother is Irish. He is a medical doctor and an openly gay man. His partner is a hospital consultant.
His politics are moderately right-of-centre (which prompts his opponents to call him “Thatcherite”). He’s been critical of people who cheat on welfare, and has expressed esteem for workers who “get up early in the morning”.
There has been huge interest in his ethnic identity as well as in his sexual orientation. But there’s been almost no interest whatsoever in his religion, which in former times would be to the fore. Religious identity has taken a back seat in the Republic of Ireland, if not in the North.
I understand that Leo Varadkar is a baptised Catholic, but only occasionally attends church. He’s smart and bright – I’ve done a radio programme with him – and is well up to the job of leadership. But he faces a challenging time in office: Brexit will have a huge impact on the Irish economy, and on Anglo-Irish relations.
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The Gospel passage last Sunday, from the Acts of the Apostles, describes the peoples who heard the Holy Spirit in their own languages at the first Pentecost: Parthians, Medes, Elamites, people from Mesopotamia, Cappadocia, Phrygia, Pamphylia, Libya, Egypt and, of course, Judea.
There was hardly a location mentioned which isn’t today in a state of torment and turmoil: Parthians and Medes were Persians – today’s Iranians; Elamites from Iran-Iraq; Mesopotamia is Iraq; Cappadocia, Phrygia and Pamphylia are in Turkey; and Judea is Canaanite Israel. Libya and Egypt are as they were.
How the Holy Spirit is needed in these afflicted lands.
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