As Catholics, we are called to a life of prayer. But what does that mean in practice? Should we be praying every day? Once a day? Three times a day? And what should our prayers consist of – an Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be, or should we be talking to God in our own words? I spoke to some leading Catholics to see how they dealt with these issues.
Richard Ingrams, former editor of Private Eye and The Oldie
I pray regularly but the length of these prayers depends on the time available. The content varies, but I say the Our Father and Hail Mary on occasion. I try to focus on adoration, contrition, thanksgiving and supplication.
Prayer is about connecting oneself to another dimension apart from a human one – otherwise you are stuck in this world. I pray for people who are sick or in a bad way. I have no idea whether my prayers have been answered. It is very difficult to say something has happened because of prayer.
People who choose not to pray are missing out. I was taught to pray by my mother. We said the same prayers every night. The older you get the more likely you are to pray. You know so many people who are dead. I pray not only for dead people but to them.
It is easier to pray to saints than to God. I don’t pray to Jesus and Mary – you can’t visualise them. I’m not sure if collective prayer is more powerful. Individual prayer is different. Group prayers create a different atmosphere. The most you can get from prayers is a feeling that there are more important things than day-to-day worries.
I’ve always been struck by the speech of Prospero on prayer in Shakespeare’s Tempest, which includes the lines: “My ending is despair unless I be relieved by prayer which pierces so that it assaults mercy itself and frees all faults.”
Melanie McDonagh, comment editor of the Evening Standard
I follow the advice of my friend Herbert McCabe who always said you should pray for what you really want rather than what you think you should want. He attributes most of what we call “distractions” during prayer to the failure to do so.
So if you want a short holiday in Wales, pray for that rather than world peace. You will be able later on to pray sincerely for other things. I pray as and when I need to, which is not at specific times.
I was always rather taken by that excellent monk Brother Lawrence in The Practice of the Presence of God, who said he didn’t really distinguish the time spent in chapel in prayer from other times – because he prayed all the time.
My problem with prayer is that I don’t like to bother God with the very trivial stuff, so if I lose things I pray to St Anthony rather than to God. That probably reflects a funny idea about God. And when I am really, really up against it, I pray to someone who was nearly a saint but whose canonisation process was interrupted by the Reformation: the saintly King Henry VI of England, who performed umpteen miracles after his death, and who is brilliant in times of extreme trial.
But I do pray to God at such times too. There are layers of prayer – to God through the saints and to God directly. The psychology of prayer is very odd in some ways, but I can’t imagine how I would function without it.
Peter Stanford, author and broadcaster
I pray intermittently – mostly when I can’t sleep – saying novenas and addressing them via St Thérèse of Lisieux.
If I’m lying there thinking things have gone well, I’ll launch into a novena of thanks, and if I’m worried about things, then I’ll do it for that reason. And it seems to me to be quite a good way of sharing the worry. Normally after 10 or 15 minutes I find myself dropping off to sleep.
Carthusian monks dedicate their lives to prayer so whenever I pray I feel as though I’m joining a community of prayer – because somewhere around the world Carthusians are doing the same thing. We’re all clogging up the same channels somehow – and that’s quite reassuring. There’s a companionship in it. Before the novenas I offer up the things which are on my mind via Thérèse of Lisieux to God.
Prayer takes away the sense of being all alone – but I do not expect my prayers to be answered in a really obvious way. Sometimes things do turn out well. Sometimes they don’t turn out well and someone dies.
I just lay my intention before God and trust that he will know best – better than me. I am drawing his – or her – attention to people who are in need at that moment. I’m trusting that God will know better than me what the right solution will be.
It is not wrong not to pray, but people should appreciate the opportunity of prayer. It also depends what you see as prayer – you could say that working in a food bank is a form of prayer, or smiling at the old lady across the road.
There was a long period of my life when I did not pray. Prayer became more important after my children were born.
My novena habit has probably only been over the last four or five years. Collective prayer is just different. There is something to savour when you gather as a group to pray. But all forms of prayer have their place – none is stronger or weaker.
They lead to a sense of peace.
Oliver Pawle, chairman of the Korn Ferry Board Services practice
I pray every day for 10 to 15 minutes using a combination of formal prayers and my own words. Prayer strengthens my relationship with Jesus and Mary. It makes me think about my Christian life and what God’s purpose is for me. I believe that every human being has a unique calling and vocation.
I do ask for specific outcomes – for example, to give strength and support to a friend or family member who is unwell or facing a crisis. That said, these petitions are made in the context of “Thy will be done”. Some but not all of these prayers have been answered.
It is not wrong not to pray each day. Jesus is never judgmental and is very humble – he knocks on our door and sometimes we choose not to listen. He is always there for us – “Ask and you shall receive” (Matthew 7:7).
I have prayed throughout my life but not regularly in my 20s. I direct my prayers to Jesus and Mary and one or two favourite saints. Collective prayer is wonderful – particularly small communities such as prayer groups. My feeling after prayer is one of a sense of getting closer to Jesus, which I find rewarding.
Mary Kenny, author and playwright
I always pray first thing in the morning: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
I’ve certainly kept to the childhood habit of prayers before bedtime but the length of my prayers depends on the circumstances. I include a bit of everything in my prayers, including formal prayers and my own words. Sometimes they’re a bit desperate, such as “Get me through this day!”
I find prayer calms the soul and puts things in place. I do pray for specific outcomes but I’m aware that you have to accept some situations.
Of course it’s not wrong if people choose not to pray, but it’s a bit like writing – if you want to be a writer, you should try to write something every day. If you’re involved with faith, the same principle applies.
I have blown hot and cold over faith over the years. Sometimes I have let it go, but it’s never let me go. I mostly pray to “God and his Holy Mother”, as the Irish tend to say. I’m more interested in saints as biographical figures than as interceders.
Collective prayer is surely uplifting but all prayer gives me a sense of calm.
Ray O’Shaughnessy is a freelance journalist
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